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Eyeballfarts: I’m Going To Get A Dog And Name It “My Boyfriend” So When People Ask Me What I’m Doing, I Can Say ,”Cuddling My Boyfriend.”
Vaginalistic: Attempting To Hide Your Desperate Need For Breath After A Short Flight Of Stairs
Bangays: What If Instead Of Saying Nip Slip We Said Nipple Slipple
Basedpidgeot: Given My Follower Count And The Number Of Days In A Year Its Way More Than Reasonable To Assume That It’s One Of Your Birthdays Today Happy Birthday Whoever You Are
Laugh-Until-You-Drop: If Mermaids Exist I Hope They Stay Hidden Because We’re Just Gonna End Up Killing Them Like We Do Everything Else
Whoredinarygirl: Anytime A Guy Says “That’s What She Said” Always Reply With “Not To You”
Moon-Roses: I’m Not Kidding The Worst Sound Ever Is The Crack In The Voice Of A Person Who Is About To Cry
Unclefather: I Think My Parents Would Yell At Me If I Died
Religiousmom: If You Walk Out Of A Concert Before The Encore Is Finished To Beat The Traffic, You Are Weak
Thelittlearchangelthatcould: Do You Ever Just Start Mentally Plotting Out A Story And You Suddenly Come Up With That One Scene Or That One Line And You Just Think Yes This Will Be The Scene That Makes Everyone Cry
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